I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
