the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
