We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Randomize
