she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
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