Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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