After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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