come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
please come you make the beer taste better
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Randomize
