i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Never let your siblings swipe right.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Randomize