The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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