What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
