I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
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