tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
