I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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