i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I'm like, not good at living.
Success! We fucked roommates!
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
