Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
so much tequila, so little girl.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
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