So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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