yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
