i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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