is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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