so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize