We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
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I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
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I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist