My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.