And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵