If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.