We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
