I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
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