there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
