no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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