you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
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