Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
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