Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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