Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
