Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
