His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
My dick has a subreddit
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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