When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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