Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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