thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
