I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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