On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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