Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
