i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
