At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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