I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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