they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize
