the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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