I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
