I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
These tits shall not be calmed
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize