i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
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I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
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I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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