i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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