I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize