his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
