dude i'm inner monologue high
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
COCAINE IS GR8
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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