I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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