Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
There's even glitter on my cock...
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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