what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
