Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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