I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
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