So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
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