you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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