When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
