I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
don't judge my taste in strippers
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
