i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
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