I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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