Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
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