he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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